No Such Thing As Free Expression

The big news of the day is Paula Deen and her faux pas regarding the “N” word. People say things sometimes that are not politically correct, however in the heat of anger, shock or dismay, nerves get the better part of most, and words spew that are sometimes distasteful. Is it right? No…But, the mind and our emotions do not always comply with our hearts.

I have been called everything under the sun. You name it. I have heard it. I could lodge complaints until the cows come home, do you think anyone cares that someone called me a coconut head, alien, puta, c***t, gook, bimbo, just to name a few?

No.  People say things and they do not think most of the times. When someone calls me a name, I often ask them what information are they basing the name on. Because if I don’t know them then they are really being out of order and defaming.

For instance, if someone calls you a hussy, you have all the rights in the world to ask them who? what? when? and where? If they cannot answer any of these questions then let them know that they are being libelous.

I was called a puta by a cab driver who did not know me and he thought he was being clever because he was speaking espanol and I would not know what was going on. Well, he was knocked off his cinder block when I responded to him back in Espanol and Italiano. I told him that he was being offensive and rude. He did not know me from Adam or Eve, so to just throw words around like that was just really provoking and evil.

If I was a psychotic person, and decided to go berserk, everyone would think that was uncalled for, however, no one sees the politics behind a nasty word. Some people who  don’t know the situation and are passers-by would assume this individual and I had something going on, and it was a lover’s tiff, giving him the right to call me that name. When in fact, I don’t know this person and we do not have anything in common.

Sometimes a mere apology can make a person feel vindicated, however, agitators are rarely willing to give one freely. Matters like this are usually best taken to a higher authority. If one is lucky sometimes you are able to get justice and redemption.

We, as human beings are all guilty of saying the wrong things from time to time. People often catch us off guard, we are in a lousy mood or possibly agitated by other affairs. I know that in my lifetime I may have said things that I certainly did not mean. They may have been said out of frustration, annoyance and deep hurt.

How many of us idly say in humor, “I wish so and so would just drop dead.” Although we are joking, what if that person really dropped dead? The guilt and feelings of horror would make us feel so ashamed of ourselves we would not be able to live with the consequences.

What I don’t understand is, when someone says something derrogatory or demeaning, why do people always go after their livelihood?

“Boxing bread out of hog’s mouth” as we say in Jamaica, is not the coolest thing to do. The economy is already in a horrific state. Therefore any entity that has the potential to bring capital or wealth to the United States of America should be encouraged. Poverty is never a solution to any problem.

Through dialogue, communication and understanding, circumstances and people change. One cannot be held accountable for something that was done decades ago. No one is ever the same person they were yesterday or even as a teenager.

People have treated me horribly and said horrible things to me, and each time I have taken it with a grain of salt and moved on. Because of my belief in karma and a higher power I have felt a sense of satisfaction knowing that God could handle them much better than I ever dreamed of.  I have seen his great works.

In this life we are all going to hurt each other at some point, but the true value and mark of a man or woman, is having the decency to say you are sorry once you realize the error of your ways. Unless you feel that you are speaking your truth, then you can’t apologize for being yourself.

Shakespeare once said, “To thine own self be true, and be as consistent as the day and night, therefore thou canst not be false to any man.”

I believe that self-expression heals the wounded heart, and sometimes folks feel so disadvantaged that they have no choice but to vent. Some people go to shrinks, others become gym obsessed and the not so evolved become violent. I much rather the person that rants and raves.