Awkward moment on a lift….

First of all, let me be blunt. There are very few people I don’t like. I may not like some peoples’ mannerisms or actions, but I do believe each human being has redeeming qualities. However, there are exceptions to the rule. I may dislike a person because of the negative way they feel towards me or ill treat me consistently.

There are some folks who do not have to out rightly say they dislike you, but the vibe they emit, tells their story quite succinctly. I have one such relative who I have never had much interaction with. When I have been in her presence, even though, I acted in a cordial manner; despite my efforts, she clearly chose to display hidden animosity and ill-will towards me.

Once we were placed in the same room together, and it felt as if I was on the longest elevator ride of my life. I did my best to make conversation and she did her best to make me feel like an oddment. The whole time I was wondering in my mind “What did I ever do to this person for her to be so arrogant and rude towards me?”

The truth is, if I have interacted with this woman ten times, that would be plenty. Then after much introspection, I realized she was a victim of her upbringing and family gossip. It is strange how young children can absorb what their parents’ feelings and other family members sentiments are and grow up with negative feelings about someone without giving him or her the benefit of the doubt.

As I thought about our relationship over the years, the only thing I knew about her growing up is the fact she was a tom boy like myself and she hated bathing, a sentiment we did not share. She often told everyone a wash-up was just as good as a bath. Nevertheless, I never used her short comings against her or ever tried to make her feel anyway inferior.

Even when the elders in my family gossiped about her choice for a paramour, insinuating he had an affinity to drug dealing, I never made any judgment calls regarding her or her love interest. Therefore, I find it quite curious she would try to treat me shabily due to idle family banter.

What I found most interesting at times is that people who are dedicated to healing sometimes cause more pain than anyone can ever imagine….

I have always felt when someone was related, you embraced them wholeheartedly and unconditionally. Life has taught me otherwise. There are times when your family members can be more critical of you than mere strangers. Therefore, I try to avoid awkward moments which leave me grasping for kind words to emit. Especially when I know someone does not feel warm emotions towards me.

When I feel the venom radiating, I normally think its best to keep my distance.