As a scorpion there are times when I am captivated by my own morbid thoughts. I brood about all those who have passed on to the other world, I think of my own morbidity, I also mull the possibility of everyone in the world living out their lives and moving on to eternity.
When we are young, we rarely have such deep, dark, macabre thoughts, however my brooding began when I was a teenager. I think about the afterlife a lot and how I want to be buried. My claustrophobia doesn’t usually let me go beyond the dying part. When I do go off into the sunset I would like to be preserved like Cleopatra. I want my own mausoleum without any coffins. They can lay me out on a marble slab and cover me with a muslin cloth making sure the mausoleum’s temperature is perfect for preservation.
The only other alternative is cryogenics and that whole process seems a bit uncomfortable. They place you in a cylindrical chamber and freeze you. I am not sure what purpose that serves, because it still wreaks of claustrophobia to me, unless the nearest and dearest feel they can shock your organs with cold to re-start them again…Who knows?
Burial by grave seems a bit disconcerting for several reasons. What if it was all a mistake and I woke up and found myself buried six feet under? I would sure hope they would leave my cell phone in the casket, just in case. But, then there is the question of what if the batteries run low?
Then, I started thinking they may as well leave a mini shovel so I can dig myself out. Those thoughts lead to perhaps they should throw in an oxygen cylinder with a mask, water and a few snacks. Then, I just decided that the coffin would have to be huge, because it would get quite crowded. At times, I wonder if I am the only person who thinks of such sinister things.
The whole underground thing really does not work for me. Although I do find cemetaries to be peaceful, picturesque and serene, but a dwelling above ground is really much more suitable for the phobically challenged.
Anyway, one day I sat down and thought about writing my obituary. I was a bit ticked at my family, so I basically wrote a eulogy telling them where to go…..Once I regained my composure, I realized it was just an exercise in coming to terms with what I thought folks might say about me when my physical presence is no longer available on earth.
I thought about who would miss me the most?….My answer was, probably my parents, both biological and adopted because I have bugged them enough while on earth. People tend to miss those who make their presence known. They may miss me for a second and break out in song and dance at a later date. Nevertheless, I know I add spice to their lives. There are times when I am a bit twee with nuttiness so for entertainment purposes there would be a void left to be filled.
It is strange, because whenever I picture the last hurrah, there are only a few pews filled in the spiritual establishment, but there is always tons of flowers, however not the funeral kind that smell of sadness. I really don’t want all those melancholy hymns being sung. I want rock and roll, country music and reggae.
A few lamentations and prayers from the bible would be alright, but for the most part I want folks to feel comforted and not spooked. I remember when I was little and my Granny dragged me to funerals of people I did not know it took me weeks to recover. I would sleep with the lights on for days and I would be haunted by the eery organ music that resonated in the halls.
They say, the Irish have a reputation for good wakes, but, I think my post death celebration should be joyous. Not that anyone would be celebrating the death. It is more like embracing the life that passed through, remembering their legacy with positive vibes. Spiritualists always say, it is harder for traveling spirits to let go especially when they know their loved ones are going to be lonely and sad.
Some spirits stay long after their expiration dates because we, who remain on the earth plain, just can’t release them. Some people revel in the fact that family members will be weeping and gnashing their teeth. Personally, I like death celebrations which are more upbeat, not irreverend, but I feel commemorating someone’s passing should leave a smile on well-wishers countenances.
In the Jewish religion they bury you within 24 hours and the family sits shiva. They can sit shiva for me if they want to, but at least make it a pleasant experience. My passing would be a sixteen day extravaganza, there would be seven days of shiva where my well wishers would run around like plain Jacks and Janes without Jewelry and special adornments, while covering all the mirrors in the house. Then there would be the Jamaican ninth night where on the ninth day after the person passes there is a big feast.
This kind of a send-off is enough to make anyone feel cherished and remembered…..
I am not sure what legacy I want to leave behind yet, what I do know is, life can be rough and rugged. I think I would urge people to forget about expectations of others because no matter how delicate or rough a person seems to be, “Every rose has its thorns”. As long as humans accept that fact, they will learn to embrace each other unconditionally……
Fighting For My Life Memoir 