Last Minute Hannah

The bible tells us that the Lord loves a cheerful giver. However, that phrase transcends beyond just giving. It also means when we elect to help others we should be joyful and enthusiastic about it. We should set out with urgency and feverish desire to get the tasks accomplished as if it were our very own concerns. Have I ever told you that when it comes to my wishes everyone in my family waits until the last minute…?

I am the sort of person if a friend or family member asks me to help them in anyway, once I agree, I act upon my committment as if it were my own personal endeavor. But when it comes to me, I find that both friends and family tend to drag their arses when helping me. It doesn’t matter what task or situation it is, anything pertaining to me is put on the lowest of priorities list.

For instance, if I ask my family to accompany me somewhere, they have to think about it and mull it over. At the very last minute they will either tell you yay or nay. After having you on a roller coaster ride for days they usually present you with a negative answer. I never quite understood why they perpetuated all the drama and histrionics just to come up with an unfavorable answer. I often wonder if it is their sick, sadistic way of torturing me.

Quite frankly, if someone asks me a favor, I can pretty much tell them in a short space of time whether or not I will be able to assist them. If it is something I am not too keen on , I never see the sense of having someone dangling incessantly. I just tell them how I feel and hope for the best.

In my life, when it comes to boyfriends, friends, and relatives I am always last on their list of priorities and it makes me very miffed. I will go through hoops to try to be reliable and efficient, and they will matter-of-factly saunter their way through any and everything that pertains to me. There is never any sense of urgency even when I am gravely ill.

So, I began asking myself why do they handle everything for me with the “Last Minute Hannah Attitude”? It seems to me when you are too nice and accommodating everyone takes you for granted. They do not see the beauty of your kindness and willingness to help them. All they can focus on is the fact you are a “chump” or weakling. It is often the folks with kind hearts and willing spirits who are taken for granted; because people believe they will never change and will always be there to help them no matter what.

There is only one problem with that theory; even the most compassionate of people eventually get tired of being a doormat for everyone. The bible teaches us about good deeds and karma, but in reality most individuals are self serving. They only want what they want, and expect you to drop everything to attended to their issues. Yet, when the tables are turned they either ignore your plight or s-l-o-w-l-y attempt to “help” you.

They will save the whales, seek to find a cure for every disease on the planet and talk about the ninth wonders of the world before tackling my concerns, wants and needs. Even just trying to be present is a task for them, they are always like the train or plane that is scheduled to arrive but never quite gets to the station on time. Why is that?

Sometimes I have to seriously break out in Jamaican patois and ask myself. “A wey do dem doh eh?”. Because they will see me entrenched in a scenario and look on with complete indifference or lack of urgency. If someone is choking we try to do the Heimlich maneuver, if someone is going into cardiac arrest we make an attempt to administer CPR. However, when someone is drowning in emotional turmoil and dis-ease do we just look on and stare blankly as if they do not exist?

My life only becomes complicated when I reach out to others and they do not reciprocate in kind. Ever since I was a child I was told, “No man is an island”. But, given the opportunity most people do not rise to the occasion, or they do it when and how they choose. By then, I would have flat lined and their help becomes inconsequential.

In the scriptures, God constantly urges us to perform our tasks as if we are doing them for our beloved. He didn’t say some tasks, he said all. Therefore whatever we do, we should do it effervescing with eagerness and the confidence that the act we are doing is not about our direct relationship with the person we are helping, but it is more about our relationship with God and passage to Heaven…..