Lessons Learned

Dating is an experience I believe most women can forego if they have the courage and patience to wait on God. When I reminisce on my dating life, dating was nothing short of going to boot camp. In the end, only the strong survive.

In some aspects dating may be a necessary evil because you get to meet all sorts of characters, and then you can decipher what you want in a mate, and what you definitely will not tolerate. The lessons I learned from the wonderful world of dating are:

(1). Never compromise your principles- If you are an uptown girl, then remain that way. Let your potential date step up to your heights, never try to reduce yourself to fit in. In the long run the joke will be on you.

(2). Tardiness is a deal breaker. It says that the other person does not respect you and has no regard for your time.

(3). Put all your eggs in one basket- Contrary to what our mothers and grandmothers told us, I feel it is better to date one person at a time. The reason why I feel strongly about this is because each person brings their own vibe into a relationship. If you are dating two or more people it is hard for you to savor the goodness or evilness each person brings.

There was only one time in my life when I dated two people. The relationships were not physical. However, it was hard for me to experience the maximum benefits of either relationship because the spiritual lines kept getting crossed. I noticed there were really good things happening in my life and then I noticed there was some horrific things unfolding. I was unable to tell who was bringing the negativity to me until I decided to put the kibosh on both relationships.

It was then I was able to figure out that one relationship was pure, genuine love while the other was wrought with deception and lies. Therefore, the negative karma that had began unraveling itself was from my association with the second person who obviously had some karmic dross.

(4). Gentleness and kindness matters- The true measure of a man is the ability to show compassion and understanding in times of stress. If a mate has no time for your emotional upheavals, then that is not the person you want to be with.

(5). Go slowly, so that you can meditate on all aspects of the relationship. Sometimes what we are not able to discern with our rational mind, our psychic mind picks up on inconsistencies. It is usually those inconsistencies that tell a lot about the person we are dealing with.

(6). Be yourself always. It will spare you from heartache. Your true self protects you from people who are incompatible with your spirit.

(7). Let God work it out- If the relationship is meant to be, it will be. Don’t push it, force it or chase it. Do your best and let God do the rest.

(8). Nip things in the bud immediately-Don’t ever give a love interest the upper hand over your life, especially if he is being insulting or condescending.

(9). Honor your first instincts, they are usually on point. I often feel like kicking myself in the shin when I go against my intuition.

(10). Love is not supposed to hurt. It is meant to heal. Sometimes we think just because we are going through trials and tribulations it must be true love. But, the reality is, love is supposed to soothe. True love should enhance our lives and being. It should not make us crazed, anxious and forlorn all the time. Anything else is just craziness in the making.

One thing I do know for sure is, there is no tried and true path to dating properly. Each person has their own journey to tackle. I do know being true to oneself is the best navigation system in any relationship…….