Dulce No Esta Aqui’

In life we are born with our own innocence and natural nature. Through proper rearing and guidance our personalities are supposed to develop in a well balanced manner. For the most part, we do not have any control regarding the people we become. Some of us get our personalities from our parents or the people we spend most of our time around. From the time I was aware of myself as a human being, I was always, kind, considerate and some folks would label me “sweet”.

I spent a good portion of my younger years around my maternal grandmother so a lot of my charitable and kind ways came from her. But, I have also spent some quality time around the world’s best “beeches” and they have taught me otherwise as well. So at any moment I could go from the light side of life to my “shadow”.

In my mind I thought everyone was kind, sweet and considerate, until I began receiving flack from my adoptive mother. She often felt I was much too soft and sweet. At times insinuating that I could not possibly be her child because other people either saw me coming or would steam roller right over me. You know what? That is exactly what they did.

So after a series of getting my heart properly smashed, folks disrespecting me in the most heinous manners, I grew a backbone and decided no mas!

In life, when you experience tremendous betrayal, hurt and ridicule, you have no choice but to stand up for yourself and let people know, never to take your kindness or sweet disposition for granted. Or, to ever underestimate where the good vibes come from, because as nice as they may be, at any moment they can turn into a seething volcano.

One of my greatest pet peeves is when folks think you are simple and an easy step over because you choose to be a nice person. I think of myself as being different by being nice. So many women, are trying to play the “beech” role all the time, the plot gets a bit tired and weak.

I would much rather be an interesting breath of fresh air with a surprising twist. Beeches are a dime a dozen. But, someone who is nice for no reason gives others a moment to pause. They either think I am bonkers or from a different planet. Occasionally, there are a few cynics who believe I want something in exchange for being a nice, decent human being. I like to think I expose them to a whole new way of being or a different reality.

However, I have been put through mental, spiritual and physical aerobics, and I now choose to channel my inner hypocrite radar. When I sense that there are folks who will not appreciate my gentleness and kindness, it is then I warp into the ultimate ogre.

I never want it to be misconstrued or perceived that I cannot wrangle with the biggest and most cunning beotches!

Since I have learned to regulate my personality depending on the characters I am dealing with temperament/climate, I am now viewed as sweet and sour with a bit of teriyaki sauce; which should make my parents quite delighted.