The Unconstrained Life

It is said that once women snag husbands they let themselves go. Many do not feel the need to primp and preen any longer because they believe they have “arrived” by passing the ultimate test. Therefore, some women begin resorting to sans make-up, baggy clothing and a devil may care attitude.

The ironic part of life is, when a woman marries that is the time she needs to step up her game in the grooming department. You see, for some reason other women tend to become more attracted to men once they tie the knot. Could it be because they are in the process of becoming better men or is it the allure of the forbidden fruit? No one knows for sure, but, I have heard it from my male friends.

My male friends tell me they received more impromptu invitations to romp once they got married as opposed to when they were single. So, with that said, once a woman marries she needs to double up on her preening, and grooming by looking good all the time, smelling good and developing a soft way of conversing.

In society, if a woman is not on task regarding her appearance she is viewed as a doss or a haus frau. My grandmother would often tell me, “Never let your husband come home and find you in curlers and a housecoat!” Granny swore that after a few evenings of coming home to someone who seemed helter-skelter, he would get in the car and drive away, never to return.

I think women should look after themselves and keep their appearances nice and rosy whether they are married or not. Taking care of oneself builds self esteem and confidence. It is especially important for a woman not to let herself go when she is a stay at home mom.

Your role as a housewife and mom is diminished when you succumb to belittling the role and fading into the background. It is possible for women to stay relative and chic by wearing casual clothes that are flattering and uplifting. Well fitting jeans, blazers and turtle necks are always classic options to utilize. Leggings with oversized sweaters are also comfortable options which do not require a whole lot of effort. Or, if a woman prefers to be more preppy an oxford shirt with a cable knit sweater and slacks may be a more versatile look.

For women who work from home or who are housewives, high heels are not always practical but a pair of fashionable loafers or boots can pull off any look. Keeping the tresses coiffed, feet and nails manicured help to create a polished image. In the summertime any look is appealing with a pair of nice sandals.

During my life, there was a time when I was deemed as letting myself go, and that was due to my illness/injuries. I went through a period of adjustment trying to find the right clothes that really made me feel comfortable and able to maneuver gracefully.

There are some men who are very dossy and they cannot understand when a woman goes through a transformation due to ill health. There are going to be days when you just don’t feel like putting on the spackle, painting the lips or making sure that every strand of hair is in the correct place.

A man who truly loves his woman will accept her in her stellar moments and during the times when she looks like an Albanian refugee.

I was raised to be “old school” by some very glamorous women, so, I do believe in keeping up appearances even if I am dying. As they say, “It is better to look mahvelous than to feel mahvelous!”

However, I have to tell you there are days when I feel terribly under the weather and it seems like a monumental task to get dolled up. On those days, I keep my cosmetic bag nearby and I depend on bright colors to get me through the day.

Even when I am ill, I try not to appear as a sad sack; which oftentimes works for me or against me. My critics will exclaim I am faking illness, when in fact I am just trying to beat the doldrums.