Hop On PT

For many years of my career I was an avid traveler via the Long Island Railroad, MTA and buses. However, the story behind my commuting was more than a nightmare, simply because I was going against my natural self. It was because I felt compelled by family pressure to get where I was going.

The fact that I was claustrophobic played a huge part in my life which made my commutes longer than they really needed to be. I would either start out extremely early or very late to avoid crowds and being smothered. All during the time of my travels I experienced severe bouts of anxiety while vowing, to one day be capable enough to drive myself to and fro. Being independent, meant for me, that I would not have to experience the emotional agony endured while taking public transportation.

Being able to get around on my own quite easily meant there was nothing I could not do and that I would be exposed to more opportunities. I felt I would not be held back by my phobias. While I was thinking positively about my new found independence, there were others in my circle who would much rather see me defeated and dependent.

My independence seemed to rub them the wrong way. Since my accident, my injuries have limited certain exertions on my body which makes it more necessary for me to get around via automobile. My adoptive mother is always criticizing me telling me I am “babying” myself and I should just hop on PT.

She is always pushing me to do things that she herself has an aversion for. She also has a phobia when it comes to trains and public transportation, that is why my adoptive father has always made it his mission in life to keep her mobile.

Yet, despite my spine problems, she is always seeking for me to go against the realities of my health. In my world, I have learned the limitations of my body since my injuries. I know that if I take care of myself and live wisely I am fine.

I know when I endure too many rigorous physical activities, I experience adverse effects even after all this time. Therefore, I listen to the feedback my body gives me and try to honor it the best way I am able to. It is funny how she criticizes me all the time as if I am not trying hard enough. She will delay or cancel her business engagements to shuttle her relatives back and forth so they do not have to rely on public transportation.

For instance, when her niece was looking for a job after school, every single day she shuttled her to and fro to interviews. For over twenty something years I commuted, and I was never a burden to my adoptive parents. Even when the trains went on strike I would either walk or take a car service home without bothering them.

Since my injuries, my claustrophobia has become worst and my body just cannot tolerate the anxiety which is caused from PT. It is funny how my adoptive mother can have all the tolerance in the world for her nieces and nephews’ shenanigans, but when it comes to me I should be a mountain climber and javelin thrower all rolled up into one.

These people she caters to are 100% physically healthy without any limitations yet, they are given the royal treatment all along the way and I am left behind fighting to crawl up the ladder. In my estimation, I have more than earned my stripes and if my adoptive parents cannot acknowledge how far I have come, then it is fair to say that they are not as astute as I thought they were.