Mother’s day is a time when most people reflect about their relationships with their mothers. In my world, I have mixed feelings about parental relationships on a whole. Simply because my entire life I have been made to feel like I can never repay the debt of being born.
It didn’t matter that at certain intervals I made my own way with very little help or encouragement. Many times my hardships were caused at the hands of my own family, so I feel it is understandable for me to feel uncomfortable on this particular day.
Most mothers act as if their children asked them to be brought to earth. The truth of the matter is, carnal desires and pleasures lead to the culmination of other human beings. Sometimes it is done out of love, other times there are ulterior motives.
Once here, the children do their best to get along and make lives. But, more importantly, the children savor the good memories. Those are the memories that create warm, fuzzy feelings. If they are exposed to criticisms, harsh remarks, and the notion of not being good enough, then that particular child is going to have conflicting emotions about family life in general.
Many parents look at their relationship with their children as an insatiable debt. Very few parent-child relationships practice give and take just like any other connection. The same paradigms which are expected in other relationships should be in the parent-child relationship.
Parents cannot disrespect their children and expect them to show respect just because……
In the old days that was a mantra that served parents well, because no one questioned authority. But, today the younger generation is much too clever for that “Do as I say ” routine.
Parents should not be perceived as Lord, Masters or Gestapos of their children. It should be a relationship of gentle counseling, and guidance.
In my life, family members have imposed their views about how I should act and react regarding my biological mother based on their interactions with their parents. But, in my sphere, there is no comparison. Because most of my life I was put into situations where I had to relive the drama and trauma of my early childhood over and over again.
If my family were more rational people, things would have been handled in a more mature and civilized manner; but as usual, they all had points to prove. Looking back, they never cared that I was hurt or emotionally distraught, all they cared about was settling scores for their sister at my expense.
I have taken my hurts and disappointments and handled them like a brave soldier, yet every little slight I may have performed is lauded and blown out of proportion because they are trying to make amends for a wronged family member.
As I have stated many times, when I am upset or going through adversity, most of my critical family members are never there to help me. So forgive me if I don’t drop everything because I am tending to my own business so that I can survive in this world.
I may not act perfectly at all times, but neither do they. My excuse is, I am a lone wolf trying to make it in a jaded world. Their excuse is, they enjoy making me a scapegoat.
Fighting For My Life Memoir 