As families go, none of us get to choose who our relations are. When we are young we believe we are cooler than them, and refrain from being associated. In my situation, I was the geek and they tried their best to disassociate from me because I was just too weird, and I muddled their cool appeal.
Now that I have matured and become a bit wiser, I realize it is not I who is weird. It is them because they have a strange way of rolling out their agendas. For instance, my family is the only family that creates mass confusion with everything.
My cousins will exclaim they are engaged and then a few moments later the whole condition becomes questionable; leaving everyone wondering “Did they get engaged?” “Are they engaged?” or “What happened to the engagement?” This sort of questioning goes on for months, and maybe even years at a time.
The same principle applies to marriage. My male and female cousins will put on an elaborate rouse announcing to the world they are married. Then, everyone gets to find out they are only shacking up. But, then there is always that illusion, maybe they are married? Maybe they are not?…Who knows for sure?
Unlike me, I herald my life as I see fit. All the while I was growing up, everyone was saturated with pomp and circumstances regarding how things looked or what society might think. At times it was stifling. They were constantly upholding the British Reserve; yet, in the grand scheme of things it was all hogwash and malarkey.
The younger generation in my family make the old schoolers look as if they are from scenes out of “Dallas”- “All a dream”. In my life, I just accept doing things my way and hope for the best. One thing which is always certain, there is never any confusion.
At the end of their assessment of me, they can always determine “Yes, I dare say she is acting crazily”, and “Thank God, she did not do anything as stupid as running to the altar or procreating.”
Which brings me to the next subject…..Mi famiglia have taken being a “little preggars” to an all time high. For nine months everyone is guessing, “Is she or isn’t she?” No one actually makes outright pregnancy announcements. Babies tend to magically appear.
Then, when the kid finally arrives, they will say, “Oh it isn’t my child, it is my sister’s or someone else in the family”. I often wonder why all the theatrics?
Once, one of my cousins adopted a child, and she was front and center in their lives. Then, the child disappeared and was never spoken about again. When I asked about her, I was made to feel as if I had imagined the whole experience.
Come to think about it, it kind of reminds me of my own life and how my adoptive parents have treated my adoption….Sometimes they feel like parenting and sometimes they don’t.
The best one of all is, whenever there is any kind of discord, certain family members are ambivalent to announce the death of other family members. They fear that the rest of the family will rejoice.
C’mon people! This is just ridiculous. We all have to die. There is no shame, triumph or disgrace in dying. No one can Lord it over the next person, because guess what? Their number will come at some point in time. It is the one thing all humans have in common.
Due to this very cryptic stance, no one is ever sure when key members of the family pass away. Everyone is left wondering is he/she dead, or are they undying? You never really feel politically correct giving condolences or even sending get well wishes. Because, either way, you would have pushed the envelope and made things infinitely worse.
It is sad, because despite all the drama and melodrama, you never really get to say a proper goodbye to the individuals when they cloister their demise.
There was a time when I felt most families operated like mine. But, after being exposed to many different families from different cultures, I realize, mine is synonymous to the ADAMS FAMILY.
THEY ARE KOOKY AND THEY ARE CREEPY, SOMETIMES EVEN SCHEMY BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, THEY ARE WHO THEY ARE, AND I AM WHO I AM, and perhaps that is what makes life so interesting?
Fighting For My Life Memoir 