It All Boils Down To “Relationship”

In life folks try to justify their bad behavior patterns by making paltry excuses. One of the most common reasons I have heard why others have been able to overstep their bounds and take a prominent role in my parents’ life is due to the fact that they have a better relationship with my parents than I do.

What do they consider a better relationship? The fact that they are chatty Cathy’s and Kevins who will tell them all about their relationship exploits, convoluted dreams and adventures.

When my parents were adopting me they knew I was a Scorpio child. We are very independent from birth, and we do not divulge everything unless we are asked in an appropriate, and caring manner. Over the years, I have refrained from telling my adoptive mother my dreams and aspirations because she always reduces them to lofty thinking and pipe dreams that will never be attained.

With that type of negative thinking I would much rather take my chances piddling away until I made great strides. The way I felt, was, if I became a success they would have to hear it from someone else. It is difficult to achieve anything on your own under the best of circumstances.

However, when someone is dinning in my mind night and day that all my efforts will amount to nada, it really hurts and makes everything seem counterproductive. The funny thing is, my adoptive mother will be on the bandwagon of all her nieces and nephews endeavors, but when it comes to me, she does not want to even entertain innovative ideas.

In her mind, my dreams are delusional and theirs are full of entrepreneurial magic. But let’s see, I have done all my pursuits on my own, never running up a national debt on “family” members. So, even if I flopped miserably I could say I did it my way.

When it comes to my adoptive mother’s family; my adoptive father and her have all the patience in the world for their BS, Malarkey and hogwash. They will listen intently and even go along with the program. When it comes to me, I can’t even get them still for a second to hear me out. It is always, “Stop your foolishness!” Or some other degrading remark.

I may have mentioned to you about the time I went to purchase a car, and I asked my adoptive father to meet me at the dealership just to reinforce that I had made a good deal. When he got there, I was so embarrassed because he refused to cooperate and began screaming at me in front of the Salesman.

Needless to say, I just took my chances and prayed to God I had made a good deal. As luck would have it, about a week later, the car began making a rattling noise as I was returning home from work. He happened to be in the driveway, and he did not hesitate for one moment to embarrass me by exclaiming, “Can’t you see the car sounds like a piece of junk!”

The fact of the matter was, it did not sound like junk when I bought it. If he had been more caring and guiding, perhaps he would have detected what I was not able to decipher. Although I have some knowledge of cars, I certainly don’t know everything, and sometimes it is good just to have a second opinion.

My adoptive father did not have the time nor patience to go with me and see about my car purchases, but he certainly had the time to go with my adoptive mother’s niece who talks about him like a dirty dishrag to see about her car choices. At which time, he had all the leeway for shenanigans!

They always criticize me when I seek strangers out to assist me, but I have learned sometimes it is better to pay a stranger than deal with all the drama.

The truth is, they never “saw” me and all the gifts I have to offer because they were too busy looking over the horizon for better things. It is difficult to have a good relationship with people who are discounting you, or yelling and screaming at you all the time.

There were times when I felt something was “wrong” with me, because they yelled and screamed at me incessantly, but then they would be the adoring Auntie & Uncle Bubba to relatives…Go figure.

My whole point is, when people go out of their way to adopt, they should go out of their way to love. No one else has the right to make a child feel out of place. Not even if they are getting the green light from the parents. It is wrong and immoral!

If my adoptive parents knew for one second that all the days of my adoptive life I would be plagued by family members agitating and harrassing me constantly, then, they should have never adopted me in the first place.