Recently it has been brought to my attention that all the drama I have experienced is on account of my family and other strangers “studying” me. Why? Because people do not feel comfortable unless they can figure out others.
Therefore, like a lab animal, I have been “dissected” over and over again. The fact that I am a Scorpion does not help matters much, because I am perceived as being worse than my youngest uncle who is a Scorpion as well.
The truth is, most individuals do not like people born under the sign of Scorpio. We are too direct and blunt. We do not engage in small talk or idle banter. We see through people and their BS as if we were x-ray machines.
Our intuition is legendary, so when others are lauding folks, we are often skeptics because our gut may tell us otherwise. We are usually right, which leads others to perceive us as know-it-alls. The truth is, God blessed Scorpios to be the revealers of the underworld.
Many of us are the saviors or humanitarians of our time. It is not that we know everything, but many of us were placed in this world with cognitive knowledge and wisdom far beyond our years.
There have been legendary Scorpios who have been ruthless and deceptive, so these individuals may be the examples by which we are all being judged. For example Hitler and Mata Hari.
My family constantly compares me to my youngest uncle because he is very frugal with money. He is practical about being charitable. Some folks would even go as far as calling him cheap. Like myself, he believes that you cannot give from an empty glass. What is the use of giving to others only to turn around asking the family for help?
It is counterproductive. Over the years, I have been very generous. Yet, I found, when I needed help all the folks that I gave to freely were not there for me. There are members in my family who will give strangers until it hurts. However when they have a crisis it is always the family they have to turn to. Does that make sense?
I am sensible with money because as I have stated many times, no matter how accomplished I become, I am only given enough to stay afloat. Therefore, most of what I have is for sustaining myself.
Due to my dogmatic, practical and no nonsense approach to life, every area of my world is recorded, documented and studied by my family. You may ask me how I know this? Well, let’s just say, there were times when I was kvetching in the house and I kept hearing echoes of my voice being played back to me.
The fact of the matter is, they did not have to resort to covert tactics to filter out my true personality. I am the sort which has no qualms telling anyone what I truly think in front of them or behind their backs. With me, there is no hypocrisy.
I never say anything that my back is not broad enough to withstand. Every aspect of my personality is dissected, recorded, videoed, analyzed and distorted to suit the family’s purpose; including my body language.
Here is the real kicker though: From the time I was a little girl there was no method to my zaniness. It was as if I were a Martian child. At times my actions may be random according to how I am feeling. My body language never matches what I am truly thinking because I have a plethora of thoughts and feelings all at once.
Since I am an empath, at times I am not even reacting to how I am feeling, but to the feelings of those around me or my environment. Other’s positive or negative vibrations greatly affect me. At times in adverse ways. This is the reason why I am extremely selective who I spend long periods of time with.
All these shenanigans have only confirmed the insecurity of my family. Why do they have a need to keep such close tabs on me? If you parent right, you will get the desired results and have nothing to fear. However, if your parenting is filled with inconsistencies and loop holes, the fear you experience is a direct result of your conscience gnawing at you; because you did not rise up to the challenge.
When parents send their children off into the world before they are thoroughly ripe, they never know what they will get back. Some end up with the Jeffrey Dahmers of the world, others just end up with emotionally twisted human beings. If they are lucky, they may get back slightly tainted peaches.
Fighting For My Life Memoir 