The Reasons I Cannot Practice Random Acts Of Kindness

I was raised in a time where we were taught phrases such as “The Lord loves a cheerful giver”, and “Charity begins at home.”

These mantras prompted me to conduct good deeds and taught me valuable lessons about being a good person, giving and being kind. However, over the years I have realized my path in life became corroded from helping the wrong people.

It seems like every time I help others especially those in my family I ended becoming the object of the people I helped hatred. For instance, my aunt who raised me for a while has two grandchildren.

When the first child was born I was living in New York and I went over the top making all sorts of gift baskets for her. When the second child was born I was living in Florida, nevertheless, I called constantly, sent cards and care packages on a regular basis, despite the fact they rarely called me.

When I returned from Florida, many days I substituted for their mother and father at school meetings, and special events. Even when there were birthday parties I made myself available to be a second chaperone along with their mom.

Almost every week that went by I would give them both presents. I treated these children as if they were my own. My reason for being indulgent was because of their grandmother; she helped to raise me when I was a child.

Now, that they are teenagers I am finding out that the little girl I once adored has it in for me in the worst way because she finds me a threat and an obstacle to getting goodies. Let me explain.

Since my aunt helped to raise me, from time to time she tries to look out for me. At times conducting thoughtful deeds for me when she is able to. These children have been raised to be materialistic therefore anything that their grandmother does for anyone becomes a huge problem.

There were times when I would go to my aunt’s house and want to speak with her regarding private matters and both her granddaughter and her mother would stand guard because they believed I was going to take off with the family fortune.

When it is their birthdays both their mother and my aunt calls the whole family up telling them what gifts are acceptable to give to them and the list is usually quite expensive. It’s one thing when grandparents spoil their grandchildren but it is another when they order others to do so.

My cousin, their mother, feels that the entire family should salute her family because her mother was kind to a few family members in the past.

The second reason my aunt’s granddaughter wants me out of the way is because my parents are her God-parents and she does not want the goodies which are acceptable and appropriate for a God-child, she wants the lion’s share.

I guess I should have realized they were plotting against me from the time she was about eight years old. At one family gathering, she made an announcement that my family home was her second residence completely ignoring my position in the family.

I suspect that both my cousin, the granddaughter and at times my aunt do not want me around because I am going to take way the granddaughter’s thunder since she is of dating age.

So in essence, the child I helped to raise intermittently, has turned out to be a recruiter for my hater’s club….How about that?

I guess I should have realized something was rotten in Denmark when she rarely called to thank me for any trinkets I would send for them. Or, the fact that she never picked up the phone one day to say, “Hi Auntie M, I just called to see how you were doing?”

When I was younger than her, whatever my older cousins or aunts and uncles did for me I appreciated it. I would take the initiative to find out their telephone numbers and let them know I was thinking about them as a way to show my appreciation and gratitude.

I really don’t look to her brother to be proactive because he has autism and I am sure if his mother allowed him to keep in contact he would. However, my younger girl cousin is old enough to know better and is able to exude a modicum of appreciation.

Instead, I am finding out that she is busy waging a campaign with her mother to have me ousted from the family altogether.

It is no secret that her father was my number one nemesis from the first day he set foot in this family. My cousin and I who were practically raised like sisters suddenly drifted apart on account of him.

I can only imagine the poisonous venom he has fed his children about me creating this horrific hate-filled situation.

These findings are quite upsetting since this young woman is several years my junior and I was there for her and her parents when they needed me. Now, That I am no longer useful to their lives, they are serving up hater-ade….Go figure….The story of my life.

I like the concept of practicing random acts of kindness, but for me, being kind has only turned out to be an albatross around my neck. Because the very people I help end up finding me to be an eye sore.

The worst part is, they are not passive about it. They would much rather like to overthrow me and bury me in the process. Over the years I have made many slights fall by the wayside out of respect for my aunt, but when others sneakily start static for no reason at all, I take issue with their sentiments and then seek to get up and stand up for my rights!