I Am Not Deaf

Many years ago, while in Prep School, I endured a horrific accident where a classmate tried to inflict damage on my ear drums. But, God was good and the pencil missed my ear by half an inch. Over the years my family took me to several specialists in the field of audiology to make sure there were no lasting effects of the injury.

Since that time, family, friends and acquaintances, who may or may not have known about my unfortunate situation have often commented that I may be hard of hearing because I choose to ignore them when they are acting asinine.

For instance, if I am working on an article and someone comes in the house screaming my name on the top of their lungs as if they are being chased by a woodcutter, then yes, for a few minutes I will play hard of hearing. Because A, it is disruptive to my creative process. B, I truly dislike when my name is yelled for all the world to hear; and C, it is inconsiderate.

The people who usually create this awkward situation truly expect me to drop everything I am doing to focus on their  dilemma. Most of the times it is something minor like, “Have you seen the newspaper?” Or “Did I get a call from so and so?”

Mind you, there is usually an answering machine but nothing gets my family’s juices flowing than an evening in Old Yeller mode.

My ability to resort to lip reading occurs when individuals will scream my name on the street as if I am some sort of round the way girl. This action has to be my all time pet peeve.

I was taught from the beginning of Prep School never to shout out anyone’s name especially a lady’s. If you desire to talk to the person that badly then make the effort required by addressing the person in an appropriate manner or tone.

Then there are the attention seeking folks who purposely conduct activities to annoy me. These may be business associates who do not believe I am sociable enough. They will have their keys or access passes but just because they want to engage in idle conversation with me, they will bang on my office window to get my attention.

It doesn’t matter if I am in meetings with clients or in the middle of a presentation, they will carry on their antics until thine kingdom come. The only way to get any work done is to ignore them.

Most of the times I don’t even know these people, and I am never aware of their validity for being on the premises, so for my own protection I will remain focused on the task I am doing until someone who is able to verify the reason for their visit.

These are the individuals who have spread heinous lies commenting on my being deaf. The truth of the matter is when people act like morons and jerks then I will selectively turn on my hard of hearing nature.

I am not being rude, but I find that they are the ones who are acting in unprofessional ways which do not exude decorum and maturity.

For me, there is a time and place for everything. If I want to talk to someone in my family, I scope out their activities and find a moment when I believe they will be most receptive to me and my issues.

I don’t yell several blocks down the road, “Hey Everybody can I get your attention!”

If I am visiting a place of business and desire to have an audience with a specific person, I give him/her a call on the phone and try to set up an appropriate appointment before my arrival. I do not show up unannounced and pretend to be Juliet or Romeo vying for an appointment.

When at home or at work safety is my number one goal, so If there are going to be random visitors I need to know about them before hand. If I do not, I am not going to throw caution to the wind on the off chance they may not be a serial killer.

Anyone who is interested in creating a safe environment will understand that nowadays you cannot be too careful because even the people we know our whole lives at times can turn out to be unsavory characters.

If the people around me act normal in a kind, informative manner then I will reciprocate by trying to be cooperative. However when they act  in a shoddy, unprofessional way which deviates from protocol then they will be met with the attitude of “I hear no evil…”

The fact of the matter is my haters would like nothing more than to create a picture of me which suggests I am falling apart at the seams. They would love to say, “Oh her, she is  deaf, dumb, getting old and has a partial disability.” That way I won’t seem so attractive to other people.