In my office there was always a graphic poster which advertised “Integrity”. It was purchased as part of an empowerment series to promote motivation and leadership.
As with most things in our surroundings we tend to acknowledge them on a daily basis but never really put too much energy into their true meaning. As I navigated through my career and life, the word “Integrity” became very important.
Therefore, I began questioning its definition because I found myself coming up against incorrigible characters both personally and professionally and I thought perhaps I had misconstrued what “Integrity” meant.
So, I fanatically reached for my dictionary to peruse the word and here is what I found. Integrity in the Webster’s dictionary means being honest, acting with sound moral character and principles, also exuding uprightness. Integrity was described as making a personal choice to uphold ethical standards.
I paused wondering if I had upheld my integrity most of my life. As I flipped through every archive of my mind, I thought that when I was placed in situations where I felt as if I were making deals with the devil I made the best decision which did not make me feel as if I had sold my soul or completely sold out.
For instance, when I had the opportunity to be deceptive by turning over one broker’s clients to another portfolio manager I stood up for myself. Even if it meant walking away from the entire situation.
When I was propositioned with unlimited resources to participate in clandestine activities, I held firmly to my traditional upbringing and politely declined with “Thanks But No Thanks.”
Although there may have been occasions when folks “suckered” me into less than stellar circumstance, once I came to my senses, figuring out what was going on I usually contained the situation by being as blunt as possible leaving no room for misinterpretation or the spinning of any tales.
During my life I have prided myself on being fair even when others including my family were not fair with me. However I found comfort in the knowledge that life is not fair but God is always good.
In the course of living, people will tell you “Everyone is into a little something-something.” Or “Everyone tells white lies…” I have often felt the truth is relative, meaning there are always two sides to every story.
When people say they are into a little “something”, it generally means one of two vices. Either they are not above trading flesh for favors or drugging. In my book, both are deal breakers if anyone wants to have a good relationship with God.
The bottom line is, no one’s perfect and we all slip from time to time, but the fact is when we do slip it has to be at a level where we do not completely dishonor ourselves or lose our “Integrity”.
When it comes to personal lives I have found that some people may dress the truth up quite a bit because their reality is not pretty. Some critics may say they are lying, untruthful or even fraudulent, in their books they may be just trying to survive the horrors of their real existence.
To me, integrity means to be true to thine own self. If any proposition does not feel good, sound good or honors your being then don’t do it. At which point you need to begin questioning the character of the person/persons responsible for the uncomfortable feelings.
Ultimately you will have to make the choice to confront them about their shenanigans or walk away leaving them to fill in the blanks. I know from personal experience that even when you are 100% forthright there will be predators seeking to pull a fast one and if you are not quick on the uptake they will have you smelling like a stinking rose thus tainting your “Integrity”.
Finally, integrity is knowing that someone is always watching therefore your private moments and public persona should be somewhat compatible with who you are as a person. It is also choosing to take the right path even if you believe the coast is clear.
The truth is, in order to preserve one’s integrity, one should seek never to consort with individuals who will make his/her integrity questionable at any point in time.
Fighting For My Life Memoir 