Black Sympathizers

The old philosophers usually say, “If you live long enough and pay attention, you will find out the motives behind people’s indifference or dismissive behavior.”

I must admit for most of my Pollyanna existence I ignored all the prejudice, biased thinking and negativity which existed in my family because subconsciously I did not want to believe that people who carried my DNA were so exacting and critical thinking.

It has taken me almost forty years to realize that there is a cold war being waged against my biological mother and I.

You see, I was raised to think internationally, so I tried to embrace all ethnicities and people. I never stopped to think that certain behaviors are associated with particular groups. Although my family would say certain things to dissuade my thought patterns and interactions, I usually persisted anyway causing them to believe that I was destined to bring down the family.

My biological mother is a lot like her mother. She is very generous, kind hearted and tries to help people whenever she can. My family translates it as a side effect of her illness and also deem her as the weakest link because of it.

Even her mental illness is somehow explained as a diabolic rouse to bring shame and disgrace upon the family. When inadvertently, some of them contributed to making her a basket case with their surly attitudes, difficult and dismissive behavior.

The fact of the matter is this,  I had a curiosity when it came to Black American culture and they hated me for it. My biological mother is like my grandmother in the respect that Granny’s family had a history of being missionaries in Africa. Even though they were lilly white they were do-gooders and well wishers.

However, the younger generation has translated all that into defaming the family and they became determined to conduct behavior modification until these “negative traits” dissipated.

The truth is they made it appear as if I ran around with truants and vagabonds when in fact some of my most closest Black American friends were movers and shakers of society.

To cover up their cold war antics and ostracization they decided to embrace my adoptive mother’s grand niece and her mother because the grand niece is dark complected and they somehow felt it would prove that their other actions towards me were honorable. The thing is, although the grand niece may be dark skinned she tries to embrace all things white and that is why she is more palatable.

Their endorsement tends to absolve them from the sins they are committing towards other family members. But here is the real stinger. Now that time has passed and the world is changing where the Black American culture is becoming trendy to all ethnicities,  suddenly they are deciding to get jiggy with the Black American culture. An act they severely chastised me for over the years.

The real reason why they would like to pretend that my biological mother and I do not exist is the mere fact of “Virtuosity”. In their warped minds they believe they have to be free with their personal goods to be considered white in this country.

A task in pop culture which has been associated with some white women who believe in gold digging,  and being loosey-goosey as career opportunities or come-uppance.

So forgive me if I am a tad confused by their hypocrisy. I have lived multi-culturally my whole life even though at times it may seem like the majority of my friends were Black Americans, I engaged in other friendships too.

A fair percentage of my friends were White American Caucasians, Asian Americans and Hispanics. However I did not do so because I wanted to prove a point, make myself more acceptable or prosperous within any one community. I know who I am and I don’t need others to validate my heritage, legacy or genes.

So when my family talks behind my back about my black attitude and philosophy they need to ask themselves if they were instrumental in pushing me towards the things they disliked so much. Because the bible says you cannot serve two masters, you will either love one or hate the other.

The way I see it, they are only interested in associating themselves with folks who are going to make their lives easier even if they themselves are living a phony life.

Over the years they have tried to compare me with my biological mother and have made me feel ashamed for having traits from her and my biological father. However now that I am grown, I know I am my own person. I select the traits from both parties that serve me well just like I ignore some of their negative patterns and only emulate the ones which make me feel happy. A task they are not able to do because they constantly focus on the negative when there is so much good to embrace.