Uncle Fester’s Blisters

It is not a joke when I tell you my family is like the Young & The Restless and As The World Turns rolled into one. Previously, I wrote about my Uncle Fester. Of course, his name is not Fester but I just call him that because he is smart, good with numbers and knows how to manage money well.

There is also a strange side to him which is mysterious which reminds me of the Adams Family, so that is how he got his name, Uncle Fester.

Well, I recently wrote about Uncle Fester’s strange disappearance. One day he was happy and well in his apartment the next moment he had vanished and the whole place looked as if it had been cleared by the “Cleaners” from the FBI.

I seriously pondered if Uncle Fester had affiliations with the mob since he was an accountant and all. Perhaps he refused to cook their books and they sent Noodles Nellie to do him in.

Then after a few weeks of my imagination running wild, I found out Uncle Fester had been touring the great big USA via a road trip compliments of his two daughters who I endearingly call the maccabraccas aka the blisters.

You might be asking why I call them that. Well, it’s because they are always making mountains out of molehills and when you call them on their shite they want to blister your arse with their words.

Quite frankly I try not to engage in any banter with them because I feel we are all much too old to be making scenes and acting up. But, I did view them giving me dirty looks on two somber family occasions and I really did not think that was cool.

As far as I am concerned, I have neutral feelings towards my cousins. I try not to talk about them and treat them cordially when we run into one another. However, the way they feel about me is the same way I feel about them.

Anyroads, it turns out Uncle Fester’s daughters had packed him up and moved him to Florida without alerting any of his brothers, sisters and close acquaintances. The entire family was so worried they almost sent out an APB on poor Uncle Fester.

So fast forward two months later and his daughters are blazing up everyone’s phone exclaiming how horrible we all are because we did not even help Uncle Fester with his move and they are all bogged down and burdened with taking care of him.

First of all, they did not even have the decency to sit the family down and explain to them why they were suddenly moving him to Florida. Although we all have special psychic gifts no one is tuning into their psycho behavior 24/7.

If they had been decent and mature about the whole matter everyone in this family would have gone above and beyond to help him because he was there for us at one point or another.

Now that they have realized the tremendous sacrifice and responsibility it takes to care for an aging parent they want to make their shortcomings about the family insinuating that we are all ingrates.

As far as I am concerned, there is a right way and wrong way to do things. My granny often told me it is best to go the correct path because when you make a muck of things the paths become limited.

They were so dismissive towards the rest of the family when they made such a bold move that we were all hurt and upset by their behavior and actions.

We all thought we must have offended him in some way for him to just abscond without a word.

When my uncle was in his prime he would lavish expensive gifts and opulent lifestyles on these girls as if he were Santa Claus. In one afternoon he once went to a car dealership and bought them both brand new cars in cash.

Their very wedding, he planned them as if he was the head cook and bottle washer. During one of the events when my uncle requested more wedding cake they cussed him out in the most disdainful manner after he had bought their husbands and paid for the weddings.

The very houses they live in he paid for them with his hard earned money and whenever he goes to visit, they are often trying to shoub him out the door.

So, excuse the rest of us, if we do not understand why they are griping about having to give back a little love after he has dedicated his whole working life to them.

Since the money train is running a little slower than usual they are no longer interested in being responsible for him.

Our family is a family that no matter what, we take care of our own. They gave no one the opportunity to do so especially when they were well aware he was very close with his brothers and sisters. They just dissed them by taking him away. It was a horrible move on their parts.

It would appear that Uncle Fester is under siege by the blisters. They probably have him under martial law, treating him like a child, advising him who he can and cannot speak with.

Suddenly in their world money is an issue, but they did not think it was an issue when he was pouring on the money Heinz without restraint. At no time at all could he dictate to them what they could and could not do or who they could socialize with or speak to.

It was JFK who once said “To whom much is given, much is expected in return….”

Out of all my cousins I am supposed to be the one who is most affluent on paper however at no time at all did my parents find it necessary to endow me with all of life’s luxuries. I had to work for them the old-fashioned way.

They were lucky, where they only had to ask and they received. Now it is time to pay the piper by taking good care of their father. End of story.

 

Shoub: Jamaican word for push