BEYOND OBSESSION

In my younger years, I was a whipper snapper, a dare devil and I lived life to the fullest. As I matured and realized that there were haters who were truly out to get me I decided I had to curtail my life and activities. Not because I was intimidated by anyone, but because I valued my privacy.

Most people exclaimed I was being paranoid but each time I threw caution to the wind and lived a little I often regretted it.

For instance, I wrote previously in my blog about dabbling in cyber dating for a bit. I was writing an article on the online dating scene and I thought I would actually try it out to see if it worked.

Oddly enough, I met someone on the dating site, however at the time my instincts told me it was set up by my adoptive mother’s family. I thought the individual and I had professional pursuits in common since I was a naturopath and he was into other measures of healing.

At one point during our conversations he even suggested we write a book together. I had not known him well therefore I had a wait and see attitude regarding his offer.

I went against my better judgement and pursued a friendship but the whole time I became more and more ambivalent about the situation because the individual kept rushing me to meet.

I am sure in today’s cyber world that people “hook up” within minutes of connecting via online means. I am old school and I would much rather vibe the person before I risk life and limb to connect.

During our conversations he would act as if he wanted a serious relationship and would insinuate I was more than a random connection however when I would ask him about meeting and inquire if it was a date he would shrug it off exclaiming it was just a casual meeting.

Therefore, after a few months of phone conversations we met. At the time of our meeting I realized everyone around us looked like a member of my family which seemed and felt bizarre. To me that was a confirmation that my adoptive mother’s family did have a hand in the whole fiasco.

Within two minutes of our meeting I knew we were not suited for one another. Although I tried to find some redeeming qualities he came off as a dictator and I knew over a period of time that manner would not sit well with me at all.

He knew I was claustrophobic yet he put me in a situation where I was anxiety ridden and hyperventilating and he looked on in a sadistic manner that only told me he may be the sort of person who had the potential to be emotionally abusive.

Therefore, I endured the few hours the meeting lasted and bid him farewell. When I was leaving I never said if I would see him again but I felt he may have sensed that I was not thrilled.

Anyway, later on that evening he called me to let me know he had returned home safely. I thanked him for the information but since I knew I was not interested in seeing him again I did not prolong the conversation and hung up the phone. Since our meeting I have not spoken to him.

After conducting a little research of my own I soon found out he was either married or had a cohabitating situation with another woman who lived in Lebanon, Pennsylvania. Therefore all the red flags I had been receiving instinctively about him was true.

However, I felt all was not lost since I was writing an article and my experience would help someone else.  The meeting had upset me a bit, but it also made me re-evaluate my relationship I had been thinking about ending.  Since then, I have gone on with my life yet this person is waging a tirade because I did not give him any play.

The bottom line is, he has become hell bent on making my life miserable covertly because he wanted to get into my crotch. Since I am a novice at the whole cyber dating extravaganza, I did not get a clue when he kept referring to the fact he was going to the bathroom. Apparently that was code for let’s do the horizontal mambo.

Since then, he has sought to create obstacles in every area of my life because I do not want to pursue a relationship with him. With all his tales of squiring women and traumatizing them beyond belief I would think he would have his hands filled and not be worrying about my spurning the situation between him and myself.

It just goes to show that in today’s day and age you cannot even matter-of-factly encourage anyone. A simple, seemingly insignificant friendship can quickly escalate into someone trying to get “jalapeno” in your life to bring you down. At this point it is beyond creepy and sociopathic.