The Italian Connection

My family is a grand melting pot. Perhaps the diversity is the reason why there is so much drama and histrionics percolating all the time. I am often ambivalent to bring up the many international influences and ethnicities within the family because there are haters who will exclaim…..”Golly, is there any ethnicity she is not affiliated with?”

As quiet as it is kept, there is a major Italian connection on my family tree. My granny’s eldest sister married an Italian-American and migrated to the States before any of our relatives thought about it.

She was the sister who had platinum blonde locks and somehow probably felt as if she wanted to branch off from the family and live her own life. This is precisely what she did. After marrying her Italian husband they settled into America and for the most part she lived the life of an Italian woman.

She had a few children from the union, one being my cousin who was trained from an early age to become a nun in the convent. My grand-aunt only returned to Jamaica once or twice and by that time her illness had her confined to a wheelchair.

Most people rarely knew my Grand-aunt was Jamaican as she more represented the Caucasian side of the family and the fact she had married an Italian American in her world, outside of dealing with family I do not think it was very relevant for her.

Although, my cousins often showed up when invited to weddings, funerals and christenings; they never acted any way strange as if they were trying to omit their roots, and did their best at fitting in with certain aspects of the culture.

They were always gracious, kind and accommodating. As a matter of fact when I had difficulty adjusting to my move in Tampa, my cousin who lived in a Pennsylvania  convent would write to me regularly counseling me on keeping the faith.

My grandmother and her sisters were not very close as they got older. Although she loved them, she often felt they had grown worlds apart since she had become preoccupied with her religious endeavors and a very “regular” life.

While her eldest sister had married well, and the second eldest had pleased the family by marrying up several times. She had created a niche in society for herself and was one who associated with the movers and shakers of both American and Jamaican aristocracy.

Out of the four sisters my granny and the sister which came before her married beneath their station in life. Although they lacked nothing the difference was obvious in the way the sisters interacted with one another.

Therefore for that simple reason my granny kept her distance because she was not interested in being part of the upper echelon. She had grown up with it all her life and when she married my grandfather I think she found out how unforgiving the aristocratic set can be when one marries outside his/her class.

During my life, the Italian roots which existed in my family followed me from time to time. There were people who believed I was Sicilian since I often wore black, was extremely candid, emotive, and a bit quick-tempered.

My interest in Italian designs, language, cuisine and my appreciation for pasticceria would often prompt me to spend my free time discovering Caffe’ Italiani.

While pursuing a career in business, I worked predominantly with Italians and some of my closest friends were from Napoli. In retrospect there are many aspects of the Euro Jamaican lifestyle which is comparable to Italian ways.

For instance, the love of cuisine, family and worship. In our family no matter how modern the world gets old-fashioned principles and mores are always in style. From my observations of some Italian American families they are exactly the same way.

They will bring a bit of modernism into the family but not too much where the whole dynamics gets shaken up. Just like in Italian families they still believe in tradition, family values and their own brand of justice.

They have an affinity for certain vehicles, furnishings, clothing, style and doing things the right way. If it is a party, wedding, christening or graduation they organize the events the proper way with a largesse flair.

Even when the family is at odds they tend to stick together and most, just like our family  are never too far away in living proximity from one another.

My proper induction into the Italian way of life became more prominent after I became acquainted with my northern Italian godfather. He counseled me on how some folks have hidden agendas, who to date, and become friendly with, and he constantly reminded me never to wonder away from my gene pool.

Perhaps if I had listened to him more intently I would have spared myself a lot of grief and heartache. Nonetheless, the experience I gained has made me more in tune with my heritage and legacy therefore I look at certain events as par for the course.

My family in their own right is a subdivision of the United Nations therefore many times I am flabbergasted when certain paisanos get thrown off by a little tan because to be honest I have seen Italians who are way darker than I am and no one questions their ethnicity just because they do not have a Jamaican accent.