Married Men Playing Single

The average woman comes from a good home with morals, principles and integrity. Even if some aspects of her family life is dysfunctional when she goes to school she is taught what is wrong and right.

Therefore by the time women enter adolescence they know it is wrong to keep company with another woman’s husband. During my dating years, I took every precaution that I would never get caught up in any scandalous triangle including married individuals.

But, in the game of life one soon finds out that men lie. As far as I know there were only two suitors I  dated who lied to me about their status. My intuition lead me on a fact finding mission and after investigating thoroughly I found out they lied.

I thank God I had the good sense to distance myself from both relationships before it was too late for me. Due to those occurrences, I made sure I turned every stone, spoke to people who knew the individual I was dating just to make sure there were no lines being crossed.

However, I soon found out even when a woman conducts her due diligence, friends and associates lie. So basically, all you really have to go on is running an authentic background check or just going with your raw intuition.

If you go for the background check, chances are the person may or may not be thrilled but at least you will know the deal before making the worst mistake of your life. Whereas, if you follow your intuition it usually makes you act irrationally and sometimes you will never know until many years later if you were right or not.

If you are a person who dates a lot, background checks become quite expensive and I feel a mate should not be putting you in debt before even embarking on a relationship. So all that is left is the sixth sense.

Personally, I would rather err on the side of caution than to give into my feelings creating a horrible mess. I normally end up looking psycho by calling off the “friendship” just to make sure I am not being played. To date, my intuition has served me well.

I  follow my intuition because over the years I have found I ended up in sticky-wicket situations because I ignored it. We tend to ignore  the voice of reason inside us because if something seems too good to be true we don’t want to ruin it.

When the “Debbie Downer” voice appears, we just want to suppress it until it becomes mute so we can carry on with our shenanigans as usual. The thing is, when we ignore our authentic spirit it is then we have tremendous regrets because it is knowledgeable and knows vital information long before we do.

Many wives and girlfriends tend to blame the hotsie-totsies and Lolitas of the world for the breakdown in their relationships. The truth is, some men are just incorrigible and given enough rope they will take you to outer limits you never thought existed.

There are some women who will continue to date a married man even after finding out his status. Their justification is usually, half a loaf is better than none. But the fact of the matter is you really don’t even have a crumb from the loaf of bread if a man is betrothed to another.

Another woman’s husband will never be your man and all you are doing is allowing him to stay happily married. He gets to have his cake and eat it too with both women hanging around.

The truth be told, if he is cheating with you, you can bet the family farm he probably has other women waiting in the wings. Women who condone married men’s cheating are doing a disservice to all women.

The man is also guilty of being a knob rot and pond scum. When married men cheat it is generally with young, impressionable women.  They manipulate them into thinking the relationship will develop beyond a roll in the hay when in fact it will not.

They in turn, feel the need to be loyal and faithful when the men are not practicing those virtues. They go home to their wives and conduct business as usual. If they have other honeys strewn about the place, it is safe to assume they are not being altar boys. No way!

If a married man is chatting up a single woman and she is aware of his deception, the onus is on her to tell him to scram because married men are not her focus. Leaving it up to him to do what is right and proper, which should be staying in his marriage till death do they part.

A young woman should never want to be the reason why a man leaves his wife because as sure as the sun shines, karma will come a-knocking when she least expects it. Married men who are serial cheaters are being unfair to women when they do not tell the truth.

Many times they tie up these unsuspecting women’s lives for years and when they have gotten enough mileage out of the affair they move on to greener pastures. Or, they settle down with their wives because after all, they were just on vacation.

For some women, they find they invested their most valuable years in a dead end relationship. They in turn tend to grieve for the life they lost by being committed to a person who was not committed to them.

This is when “the scarlet women” realize the difference between men and women. You see, a man can waste all the time in the world with several women and still be the MAC of all things.

A woman on the other  hand, whether or not she is aware of it, has a shelf life according to society’s standards.

So when she dilly-dallys in an unproductive relationship it wastes her time and depreciates her value in the world of dating. She generally has to start all over again, reinventing herself just to keep relevant.

The married man who she carelessly spent time with goes on and lives the best life possible. She is left to deal with the skeptical glances and the politics which come with dating someone that has already been spoken for.

From the year of naught, society has blamed women for cheating spouses. I think it is high time for the men to be held accountable. If they are not happy in their marriages then they should seek counseling or leave.

They should not dare drag an innocent person in their marital theatrics as a means to prolong the agony of an inevitable separation. It is unfair to the other party especially if lies or half-truths are told.

The sad part about the whole cheating fiasco is many times the wives believe they have the best marriages possible while the husbands spew tales worthy of the Twilight Zone.

I am often amused by the new marriage era in our world as it appears as if most men today get married to start dating. When they do get married, they get divorced swiftly as if they were holding auditions that did not work out.