Jinxie

The term jinx is used to describe negative energy, a curse or the attribute to attract bad luck. In certain cultures such as Asian and Indian cultures, it is said, “It is better to be born lucky than wealthy.”

The premise behind that thought process is if you are born wealthy and lose your fortune and do not possess good luck you are done. But if you are lucky, opportunities will surely come your way and you will have the chance to regain your wealth.

To be candid, I have never thought of myself as a lucky or unlucky person. I may have thought my life to be challenging but I also know if one works hard, he/she creates his/her luck.

In the process of living, I soon found out I was viewed as a jinx by a paramour of mine and by certain family members. I had an ex-boyfriend tell me our relationship had to end because I was entering an unfavorable period of my life and he did not want the negativity to daub his.

For me, that was a “wow moment” considering that he was abusive the whole time in the relationship and may have been responsible for the “negativity” that appeared to be permeating my future.
Although I chalked up the whole jinx notion to him being a jerk, I soon found out there were members of my family who viewed me as a jinx. I wondered where were they getting their ideas from as I was just living my life like any regular person.

Then I thought, it was their way of making me feel horrible since they did not like my biological father. In their minds, they believe him to be a bad person for leaving his marriage and so I assumed the negativity surrounded by his actions.

Therefore, for them, I became a jinx because the truth is they had to “deal” with me. They would have preferred if there were no reminders of my birth mother’s mistakes.

Since I did not fit into their cookie-cutter image of what they wanted me to look like I was written off as a “jinx”. Some members even went as far as to enlisting others not to deal with me because I would only spread my brand of bad luck.

To me, it was shocking, frightening and upsetting to know people I cared for and trusted thought this way about me. It also contradicted my beliefs about myself as my constant and fervent prayers to God was to always make me a blessing wherever I went.

It is a weird feeling to think you are a normal, well-adjusted human being while others are trying tenaciously to make you appear as if you are a misanthrope and an albatross at the same time.

I did not know it then, but I now know, that if my birth mother had chatted me up favorably and denounced the negativity that was being spread there was no way I would have lived in the shadow of being a jinx.

Her family had me believing I am a person to be shunned. I was coerced into thinking I would only create misfortune and bad luck wherever I roamed.

It took me several years to see the goodness God had poured into my life and how my spirituality had made me lucky in so many ways. I then wondered why those closest to me were having a difficult time acknowledging my blessed nature.

Then it dawned on me they would much prefer the world to view me as a jinx and an unlucky person so no one would find me interesting and appealing. My life has been a testament to what word of mouth advertising can do.

In my situation, the negative publicity made people stay away from me as if I were a bad penny. The ironic part was, while I was chatting up my family members positively, they were conducting an assassination on my character and personality for their benefit.

As time passed, I came to the realization you can only be a jinx if you allow people to let you feel like one. Truthfully, the people who were setting me up to be a jinx are the ones who are jinxes, or who were doing jinxy things to make me appear to be unlucky.

Therefore with that knowledge as my guide, I soon came into my own on a spiritual level denouncing anyone or anything that brought negative energy. As quiet as it is kept some individuals who are near and dear to us harbor ill-will and dwell in the realm of curses, hexes and jinxes.

Naturally, they will know if you are one since they might be the responsible parties trying to saturate your world with their black magic.

The bible tells us anything God has a hand in cannot bring bad energy or bad juju. So, if folks around me are dabbling in the underworld and entertaining thoughts of high jinxing, it is I who should be shunning and banishing them.

The scriptures confirm only good things come from God. I am not a devil worshipper so talk of jinxes and such does not exist in my vocabulary. However,  I have found that those who tend to easily bring up the subject are individuals who require being scrutinized as they may be up to things.