Break Up With Boring

It is human nature to want life to be exciting, enthralling and teeming with activity. The reality is that life is a vicious cycle. It is filled with mundane, repetitive actions and routines.

In the course of a life, outside of getting an education, dating, marrying and having children, and dying it is hum-drum.

The biggest challenge I have faced in this world is the fact that people, specifically friends and dates expect me to be this super electrifying person. My persona gives the idea that the fun will be non-stop, and it will be caviar and champagne dreams all the way.

Since both my birth parents and adoptive parents are extroverts and social beings most people expect me to be the same way.

The truth is although I have a lot of activities that captivate my interests I enjoy living a drama-free life. I dated suitors who felt I did not do enough in my private time.

As far as I was concerned I was a productive member of society going to school and working. So what more did they want from me? Most days I had to deal with long commutes therefore by the time I accomplished my necessary tasks I was quite tuckered out.

In my earlier years, I was an athlete. I played tennis, badminton, netball, participated in races and marathons frequently.  Yet, there were complaints I acted too Caucasian since I chose to pursue fitness.

As I matured and gained a better sense of self I no longer felt the need to impress anyone or wanted to prove that I was this interesting and riveting person. I much preferred to be me and if others thought I was fascinating well, I ended  up pleasantly surprised.

I often tend to attract mates who are the life of the party. My partner of choice is usually someone who is an extrovert and enjoys entertaining. He is someone who is quite active and has a lot going on.

In some ways the mates I chose in my earlier years reminded me a lot of my biological father. He often had this lightning kind of personality. One minute he’d be around, the next minute he would be off conquering some task or activity.

Naturally, a mate who is always up to things expects me to be the same way. For me, I had learned to spare myself for activities that were for a good cause or truly worth my while.

So, even though a gregarious, outgoing person may have been drawn to me because of my outward appearance, he would eventually become discontent because I am not bringing the drama that those types crave.

In other words,  if I am not creeping and participating in questionable activities that will make him feel as if he has won the Prom Queen then I am just not competitive or stimulating enough.

Why? Because although I know it is all part of the dating dance, I am much too busy with my pursuits to play into the BS games that men need to keep their adrenaline pumping.

Amid a somewhat thriving relationship, his friends will start waging a tirade. The fact that I am not up to getting sloppily drunk with them, and I much prefer to engage in passive activities that peak my curiosities automatically makes me a non-contender for a permanent girlfriend.

While on occasion I don’t mind participating in interactive activities, I much rather The arts, antiquing and calm spectator sports such as figure skating or synchronized swimming.

Although there is a side of me that loves extreme sports such as BMX bike competitions, skateboarding, cross country skiing, and surfing. The thing is the American lifestyle is all about getting inebriated, hooking up randomly and being baseball, football, and basketball fanatics.

In my youth, I thought these types of sports were thrilling. I then realized that people idolized athletes as if it were a religion in this country. Some of the athletes they admire and adore do not lead the stellar lives that earn being placed on a pedestal.

I much preferred to engage in activities that offered learning experiences. The sports I did follow were filled with renegades who were not interested in being role models or idols. They were basically into the activity for the adrenaline rush it gave.

Ultimately that is why we as humans participate in certain activities because it gives us a rush or “high” of some sort and that feeling fuels our motivation. I am usually viewed as boring to a mate who is up to philandering duties and burning the candle on both ends.

I have also discovered if a mate thinks you are boring he is speaking about himself. He is highlighting that he has been remiss at his duties as a boyfriend. Life has taught me that different people bring out various sides of you if they are inspiring.

After enduring one or two relationships riddled with theatrics, histrionics and deception I have learned to have a newfound appreciation for “boring”.  Unevolved individuals will never understand the magic of spending quality time with someone by doing absolutely nothing. To me, that is how you know if you have something special.

Life is not meant to be one big party all the time. There will be peaks and plateaus in relationships. Therefore each person has to carve out their own life that is not dependent on the other’s sensational phases.

At the beginning of a relationship, both parties are so busy trying to be impressive on so many levels that they aren’t able to focus on their true compatibility. If a person can handle sitting quietly with someone and not feeling the need to bolt, only then can he/she say they have a worthwhile relationship.