Final Thoughts On My Adoption

After carefully turning every stone to find out the truth about my adoption each day I have to conclude poignant matters.

One of them is the fact that over the years it has been insinuated that my aunt who raised me did not go about my adoption in the right and correct way. I would say as far as making sure the identities of my adoptive parents were authenticated, yes.

There is a provision in the Jamaican adoption laws that requires DNA tests to be taken of adoptive parents to make sure they were who they say they are so children are not caught up in human trafficking.

From the way, my adoptive parents have acted towards me once I migrated to America there are days when I have doubted their identities. They do not act like the same persons who loved and adored me as a child growing up.

However, when it comes to the matter of the paperwork handling, I have painstakingly gone through every single bit of paperwork concerning my adoption and have found my aunt dotted every “I” crossed every “T” and preserved the paperwork accordingly for my access.

She often told me she had no qualms keeping me as her child but there was often the issue of her husband not taking tea with me for some reason. Then there was her daughter constantly wailing on me so perhaps she did me a favor. I just felt that she could have found parents who were more committed to me.

It is no doubt that my adoption has been a nightmare but I have taken a proactive stance. I have been trying to right all the wrongs that were done during this time.

As a child, I could not speak for myself but as an adult, I understand how life works and certain intricacies of the adoption laws. Therefore with this knowledge, I have been researching the truth regarding the stories I have been told about bullying, bamboozling, and such.

After putting the characters through a sieve, I am finding levels of embellishment and inconsistencies being told to me so the parties could feel better about their actions back then.

Any roads, the pieces to the puzzle have finally started coming together and the only factor I have not been able to decipher so far is the reason why my adoption file was sealed.

I was never a wayward child or had any horrifying experience that had to be hidden so there is a level of curiosity that still exists on my part. When I questioned my aunt about it she said she was trying to protect me from my biological mother’s mental illness and my biological father’s persona.

Yet, despite her best efforts, life has a way of bringing all things to the surface. I do not know how much protection the sealing of the files offered as my entire childhood followed me into present-day life.

One thing I do know though is how I was handled and the nightmare that this adoption turned out to be, helped to worsen my biological mother’s mental health as she spent most of her life constantly worrying about me.

She may have a heart of gold but truthfully she was never in a position to give me the love, emotional support, nurturing, and guidance I needed. My adoption scenario gnaws at her every day as she stands by and watches how these supposedly capable adults botched my entire life without any remedy or iron-clad plan.

My biological father has often felt they fought him so hard to take me away that he swore they would have treated me like the Taj Mahal and they did not. These findings have left him stumped even till this very day.

So you see, although folks may say stop bellyaching over things that happened years ago, it still affects my life today. If adults who were an integral part of the process are still shocked by the outcome then what say me?

I have been living in an oblivious stupor for the past 46 years and I really cannot explain how I got there.