“Ostracization was practiced against me so Blacks in this country could gain leverage at the expense of the Republic. This was how Large my grandmother was. The past few years you have all been privy to the “Browning” of America. Beneath it all is blackmail and extortion. Not even my family has been immune from the reparation campaign and brigade.”
I once visited a prominent soothsayer, who the moment I walked into her curiosity shop told me, “They do not like you at all! It is due to pure envy and jealousy!”
I was floored. I looked behind me to see if she was talking to someone else. But, that would be a resounding no. She then motioned for me to take a seat and began expounding. She continued, “You try to be their friend, but they do not like a bone in you.”
I excitedly said, “Who? Who does not like me?” She said, “American blacks.”
At the time I was barely 23 years old. I wondered how anyone could make such an earth-shattering assessment on one so young.
She then went on to say, “You are foreign, aren’t you? Although you exhibit a ray of color you are not what you present to be.”
The woman was from Romania. She then emphasized, “My dear, you are more Russian than you know, and, in many lives, you have lived in Russia.”
Well, I was shocked, bewildered and worried at the same time. After all, I had friends of the Black American persuasion, and I often tried to be amicable. But, in all honesty her remarks were not a complete surprise as certain members of my family often warned me that I would not be accepted by many groups because of who I am.
They felt they would use me to further their ambitions and hidden agendas. Boy, were they right. Anyhow, the Romanian soothsayer continued to advise me to seek international friends because I would experience dismay at the hands of Blacks.
Little did I know, that they were behind the ambush that happened to me on MLK Boulevard in Tampa, Florida. I was ambiguous in nature, and since New York was a melting pot I explored trying to fit in places I did not.
I may have drawn attention to myself as they found me annoying and trying to steal their thunder. The fact that I received favor due to my white ancestry did not sit well with them at all. I wrote about it in my blog previously. I mentioned the time I was volunteering for Hospice and one morning I received a 13th hour call.
The patient that I had been visiting with had taken a turn for the worst and was experiencing her last hours. I quickly rushed to the Hospice Center to gather with the family and offered bereavement support. The patient lasted throughout the night and even into the late afternoon.
As I sat watching soap operas with the family, I commented on a news clip that involved blacks. I may have said “Those people are crazy.”
It was a completely innocent remark that had no malicious intent or even racial innuendoes. If they were Jamaicans, Chinese, Irish, Germans, Scottish or Dutch I would have said the same remark. Two orderlies that were privy to my remark took issue with it and blew it completely out of proportion.
However, from the inception I knew that they had an issue with me since my patient was a white Southern woman and I got on famously with her and her family. I knew intuitively they were wondering who the heck I was coming into the place and being treated with kid gloves.
Since I am always humble and unassuming, I did not think much of the events unraveling. But even whilst in Florida I was warned by some Caucasians to be careful. You see my hoity-toity Auntie Mame, who is my grandmother’s second eldest sister made the Tampa-Saint Petersburgh region her home for many years.
She had followed her Bridge partners and canasta players there as she began aging and looked for a lively social circle. She was a well minted, lonely widow and felt she would be more comfortable in Florida than in New York or Jamaica.
Therefore, I could not hide from my family ancestry no matter how hard I tried to fit into a world that would view me with skepticism and jealousy. My tan shone brighter than a diamond, but I was not what they thought I was or expected me to be.
My birth mother may have befriended blacks and given them the impression that she was one of them to fit in. Her actions would prove to be detrimental to the Republic and her.
Currently, we are all spectators to the “Browning” of America. It is not happening by mere happenstance but due to blackmail and extortion of the Republic.
Once they discovered I was a person of boundaries that is when the enmity and evil spirited behavior became eminent. The other day, the same Romanian psychic contacted me wanting to know how I was getting on in New York and I told her, “Not so well. It is not the same New York I knew.”
She sighed and then said, “I know my dear. I told you many years ago about the circles you engaged in. Didn’t they all turn out to be your worst, diabolical enemies? They have blocked you as a way of getting what they want. While you thought you were making friends and alliances, they were seeking opportunities through you. But you sense that now, don’t you?”
I replied morosely, “Yes, I do.”
Black Americans have been my most ardent critics since I do not cater to them or acknowledge them in the manner, they feel they should be lauded.
She explained, “They have blocked you in your career, love life and even in matters of finance. They are holding on to your money for some imagined slight and are shaking down your family every chance they get. All those people you thought were friends were enemies in disguise just waiting for you to be in a compromising position to capitalize on it.”
I have sensed this for a long time now but I am the sort who tries to prove things to myself. In America, racism is rampant. This has caused most Black Americans to be hostile and skeptical of any race that poses competition for them.
They will cozy up to Euro-J’s and Black Jamaicans to learn about the culture and copy it. Secretly, they cannot stand Islanders. I don’t even think they even like their “own” Africans because truthfully, if you speak to the average educated African you will find he/she is not excited about the whole BLM movement and divisive actions of blacks in this country.
I am not saying that all blacks have hidden agendas but even the well-to-do ones have a chip on their shoulders as it relates to other groups coming to this country and succeeding. They will like you just fine if you know your place and do not show them up by being brilliant at anything.
For me, life has been a strange ride as my tan is the first thing people see. Once they get to know me, they realize there is more to me than meets the eyes. I have also dealt with skepticism from middle class Caucasians, and it was mostly women.
Their gripe with me is the fact they believe I am trying to get all in their world through my ambiguity. They do not know I have a world of my own. The only times I felt comfortable was around more affluent individuals who were prominently American caucasian.
I think that was due to hanging out with the elder members of the Republic of Lena and my step grandparents. I have noticed that ever since my adoptive mother brought her niece and grandniece into the fold Black Americans are all over my family like bees to honey.
As a matter of fact, one of the reasons why I was brought back to New York was because the Medical Examiner and coroner’s office listed my grandmother as being a minority simply because she lived in the same house as the niece and grandniece.
She was not a minority nor a Black American and never will be. I will not rest until they change the details of her death certificate. This was done so Blacks in this country could gain leverage and favor. This was how HUGE my granny was.
I am naturally curious about all people and I genuinely care about people on a whole. But I draw the line when they seek to hurt me or hold me back because they want to benefit by riding my coat tails. It is wrong and I would never have done that to any of them.
Whenever I was in positions of power, I gave them breaks. With me, it appears as if they are trying to stomp me in the ground.
In my life, I have earned some wealthy, famous, and affluent friends and never once did I seek to capitalize on their lives or good fortune. It is just not in my DNA. I have been harassed, hunted, blocked and frozen out. In this new era, I am saying it must stop!
I am who I say I am and God knows who I declare myself to be. Anything else is being done to gain accolades and favor unfairly. My family has paid dearly enough. I am saying that the gravy train is coming to an end and the party is over. I want back everything that was stolen from me through chicanery and deception as well as my 50 acres and livestock.
Fighting For My Life Memoir 