Marriage Mayhem

When I was a young girl coming up, one of my favorite games I enjoyed playing was “The Wedding Game”. It was all about wedding planning. Although I had been resolute about not getting married, I figured if I could just finagle all matters then there would be a ray of hope. Unfortunately, life is not as simple especially when others are involved.

I loved going to weddings as a child. Since I was the youngest cousin around and quite precocious, I was often asked to be either a flower girl or a junior bridesmaid. As I matured, I realized the “hoopla” associated was a farce.

People spend tons of money to have lavish weddings and in the blink of an eye the marriages go asunder and everyone is right back to where they started. As quiet as its kept, my guilty pleasure is watching the Housewives franchise. I first became enthralled with “The Real House Wives of Orange County”, then it was the “Real Housewives of New Jersey”, and in later years it has been the “Real House Wives of Miami” which I think is the best right now.

Orange County lost their edge when the story line between Jo and Slade fell apart. Shortly after, some of the original housewives left. I also enjoyed the story line with Gretchen Rossi. Recently, I heard her and Slade set up house together so at least one story had a happy ending.

Since “How To Get Away with Murder” and “Scandal” went off the air and Grey’s Anatomy’s Seattle Grace Hospital became like the roach motel where patients check in but they don’t check out, I have been on a quest for a bit of theatrical drama. I then began giving some serious thought to the housewives of Miami.

I watched a few seasons and it was entertaining. Naturally, I had to cheer for Lisa Hochstein because she is part Jamaican, Canadian, Scottish and German. She’s the housewife that is married to the plastic surgeon who is Russian. For the most part, he goes to work, she spends the money, tapes the show and goes to various affairs with the rest of her dolls aka housewives.

I haven’t been watching the show for a bit recently so I decided to catch up. Much to my chagrin, Lisa and her plastic surgeon husband are going splitsville. But that is not even the half of the story.

Everything appeared nice and rosy until one beautiful spring day he waltzes into the house and tells her he wants a divorce. Not only does he ask her for a divorce but he tells her he will be aggressively dating and she better get used to it. I thought for sure he slipped and fell and bounced his head somewhere.

Now, this is all coming after they have two adorable kids and have just built a beautiful house on the water in Miami. I felt if there was anytime for LH’s Jamaicaness to come out it would be during the moments her husband was being rude, condescending. and disrespectful.

Not only did he have the nerve to ask her for a divorce but he had already been seeing a hotsie-totsie Austrian model. He wasted no time bringing her around to the new house while the couple’s children were sleeping. He even had the nerve to tell his own mother off because she was not encouraging his misbehaving.

Lisa Hochstein’s mother is white Jamaican so the whole time I am screaming at the telly, “Call your mummie! Call your mummie! She’ll tell you what to do.” Better yet, one trip to Jamaica to spend a little time with some real yardie Jamaican women and that husband of yours will be as right as rain once again.”

This guy is out of control. He practically tried to throw her and the kids out of the house. He is beyond “whipped” I seriously think he has lost his marbles. He is acting like a cold hearted snake. I think LH should call on her Jamaican ya-ya’s for this one. I am 70% Russian and he makes me look like mother Theresa with his God-awful antics. Between him and Putin there is definitely a tie.

Once I got over the shock and dismay of the imploding marriage, I also noticed there were a few new housewives and I am wondering if there isn’t some foul play, mal ojo, or hocus-pocus going on. How come all of a sudden LH’s 14 year marriage goes up in flames.Hmm…

Sometimes those dolls act as if they are your chums but there is always undercurrents and jealousy going on. A situation like this can cause some women to become quite emotionally ill especially when they have the added responsibility of taking care of little ones.

Life has taught me no matter how well off or set some of our friends appear to be, there are a few that envy each other’s lifestyles. These are the women who will put a spanner in the works, if we are not on our best game all the time. Don’t ever think because someone is married that he/she will not try to mess up what you have going with your partner. My heart goes out to LH and I will be praying for her and the two cherubs.

The thing is her husband may be top-notch in his field, but she brought the glamour, the drama, and the show to his doorstep. So, that flimsy prenup of his needs to be looked over thoroughly. She is the one who was responsible for his empire gaining notoriety. I remember when she helped him promote and manage his medi-spa and he is actually playing Ebenezer Scrooge with her right now…?

The producers should bring back Joanna Krupa, the Polish model. Although her and Lisa used to tangle at times, she knows how to turn situations around for her benefit. As women, we need that one hatstand friend who can turn things around to our advantage.

The husband’s mother did make a good point though on the show the other day, she told LH that she was culpable because she was always having huge parties with lots of hot women around.

To a degree, I believe she is right. It is like handing over your guy on a silver platter. However, if he is well trained and completely into you other women should not matter. But that is in a perfect world. In the real world, men are fickle and wanton. A woman has to be smart and tough to gain control of her domain.

On a much lighter note, a friend of mine told me that people today are merciless at criticizing celebrities’ husbands and wives. For instance, Pierce Brosnan is getting a lot of flack and hate mail from women commanding him to leave his wife because she is a few pounds heavy. This is inappropriate and incorrigible.

His wife Keely Shaye was a babe back in the day, and I suppose after having children she did no lose all the weight. Nonetheless, she is still a very beautiful woman regardless of the few extra pounds. Besides, it is not all men that are attracted to skinny-minnie women.

I think its great that PB tells them to bugger off and continues to embrace his wife whole-heartedly. These folks are out of order and rude. Not because they are public figures, folks should feel they have a right to dictate their lives. I am sure they would not appreciate it one bit if others in their neighborhoods were harassing them about their choice of mates.

For God’s sake, these people are just as human as you and me. I once saw a quote that read, “We don’t fall in love with the exterior of a person we fall in love with their souls.”

We live in a world where young women are dying to be beautiful, popular and well liked. At the end of the day, when their desires do not pan out for them, they become depressed and gloomy. At times electing to take their own lives. It is then we claim we are sorry but the damage was already done.

Sadly, the ones that start the revolt are really the culprits behind the suicides and malcontent feelings. I am disheartened about the world when I think there are folks who have mean girls’ attitudes. They actually will harass, and boycott a notable figure just because they are not living up to the ideals of “Follywood”. It is clear that as a people we have sunken low into the abyss.

The bottom line is, the fact that jobs and acting parts will come and go, but a good wife or husband is hard to find. The shallow extraneous things that critics are concerned about should not phase these celebrities. It is no wonder many stars are deciding to leave Hollywood once they make their fortunes. It is a brutal environment that requires fortitude and endurance. A good percentage of stars leave before the negativity consumes them.