Sitting in the hot seat.

We all have those days when our minds are overloaded with so many toxic and emotional dross that our psyche cannot help analyzing the things that bug the hell out of us in our dreams.

For me, they often manifest as game shows or a situation similar to the Spanish Inquisition. The other day I was out of my gourds concerning the witless actions of persons I had been dealing with and so I just had to pause for a moment.

The “pause” manifested into a power nap. It was then I was transported to a game of 17.5 Questions with Dusty. First of all, I wondered who the heck was Dusty? In Dreamland you really cannot question too many things as you will probably snap right out of the dream and never find out what it is that you are trying to resolve.

Therefore, I decided to roll with it, then I had a eureka moment. The Dusty I had conjured up was no other than Dusty Springfield an English singer from the sixties. She was often listened to by my father. She was also famously known for the song, “Son of a preacher man”.

Any roads, the premise of Dusty’s show was sitting in the hot seat and answering 17.5 questions. I wondered why 17.5? Why not 10, 15, or even 20. What was the significance of the number 17 in my life…?Hmmmm…., Oh, then it came to me that my youngest sister was born on the 17th.

Perhaps the dream was about her. The questions would reveal what was going on in due time. In a slapstick comedic way, Dusty proceeded with her line of questioning amid the backdrop of a sixties colorful scenery.

I was sitting in an oversized pink velvet chair synonymous to the chairs in Alice in Wonderland. Dusty acted in a cavalier manner, then she began her strange line of questioning.

(1). What was the one thing you learned from your papa?

Me: “My dad often stressed the importance of friendship. He would say, “One friend is better than pocket money.”

(2). Have you ever been manipulated to hate one parent?

Me: “Yes. My biological family would make me feel that it was okay to get to know my biological dad, but then in reality they hated me for it. They would say things such as I am just like him, or I remind them of him, and so mega drama would ensue. They never asked me to dislike him, but their actions confirmed they were conflicted.”

(3). What are valid reasons to end a relationship even if you love the person?

Me: “Valid reasons to end a relationship would be because the person no longer values you. Or he/she cheated or becomes eerily distant. These are things you cannot really fix.”

(4). Name a food you cannot understand why some people enjoy it?

Me: “Sourdough bread. What is the deal with sour dough bread anyway? It is everywhere. For me, it is like abusing my gums. It reminds me of what they call rock candy in Jamaica. It is a chore to eat but you munch on it anyway because kids are supposed to enjoy candy, right?”

(5). What do you want your obituary to say?

Me: “Veni, Vici, Vidi. (I came, I saw, I conquered).”

(6). What is one thing that is more important to you than money?

Me: “PEACE”. A psychic once told me to pray for peace always. I thought she was bonkers. Yet as I grew up and started handling money, I realized what she meant. In life when you become successful you have to pray for peace constantly because vultures and thieves are at your back all the time. There is no sense in having all the luxuries of life and you do not have peace. You will never enjoy anything.”

(7). Name a meal where the leftovers taste better than the day it was originally made?

Me: “Vegetable Lasagna, without a doubt.”

(8). What is your longest relationship?

Me: My longest relationship was 17 years on and off.

(8.5) If you could retire tomorrow what would you do?

Me: “I would go on a road trip visiting all 50 US States. I would be looking for a ranch to buy where I could settle. I would probably adopt kids so they could enjoy a healthy, natural lifestyle.”

(9). What does it mean to be treated with respect?

Me: “When someone respects you, they do not lie to you, he/she treats you honorably no matter what situation crops up. You feel like a valued member of a partnership or group. If he/she has reservations about anything he/she will come directly to you about it. You won’t hear salacious gossip about anything.”

Between you, me and the lamp post, by question 10 I was sweating profusely wondering when the inquisition was going to end because the questions were getting kind of difficult.

(10). Do loyal, honest and faithful men exist?

Me: “Yes, they do. In my lifetime I have met one or two but I just was not ready for the level of commitment they were offering and so I had to walk away. I would rather be honest than hurt someone.”

(11). Be honest, are you okay?

Me: “Who is ever okay really? I haven’t been okay for a long while and now I wonder what okay feels like.”

(12). What song puts you in a good mood?

Me: “Cold Play’s “Good Life”.

(13). Why do you talk to your pet like a human?

Me: “My pet is my child that’s why. It is not up for discussion.” 🙂

(14). If you had to bring 3 things to cheer someone up, what would you bring?

Me: “Music, movies and snacks. I have never met anyone that did not respond favorably to all three.”

(15). Something simple that makes you happy?

Me: “Sitting in a comfortable chair soaking up nature enjoying good times, good music, laughter and deep conversations with relatives or friends.”

(16). What is harder for you to say, I am sorry, I need help, or I love you.

Me: “I will apologize when the situation is called for, I have no qualms saying I love you when I feel it. However, I do have an ambivalence about asking for help. Most of the times I tend to ask the wrong people. I have been accustomed to doing things independently that I freeze up when I have to enlist help”.

(17). What song are you listening to right now?

Me: “Fancy like by Walker Hayes. I love the lyrics.” (Me breathless} ……Are we done yet? Then I am awakened by my book stand toppling over, the one that displays my dad’s photo. Even faraway he motivates me.