Well, hello there Vikings! I sincerely hope your New Year is off to a grand start. The year may be new, however the same Tom-Feckery seems to be going on. Anyhow, one trend that I have noticed which seems quite shocking is the fact that most women are basically throwing in the towel when it comes to dating.
It appears that the bar has been set so low for men that they do not care to display gentleman-like behavior and women are fed up. Most would rather settle into single life than indulge in relationships that they will require psychiatric help for at later dates.
Personally, I have never been a fan of cyber dating, or the anything elses in between. Simply because I have noticed that men who are on cyber dating websites have an agenda. It is usually to get laid as quickly as possible with minimal effort and very little of a financial investment. In other words, they are El Cheapos.
When Tinder came along it was like a Halleluiah moment for men because they could indulge in a smorgasbord of free, illicit sex without strings attached and very low standards. The backlash from all that “free love” is the fact that women are visibly realizing they have created monsters they cannot see a viable future with.
Things have become so dire that when single females attend weddings, they no longer even fake trying to catch the bouquet. Men were shameless before our current era; today they are just downright disrespectful, and some are ill-mannered.
When I speak of disrespect, I am particularly referring to them dating while being married and having children. I am also pointing out to the fact that they take great pleasure in standing women up and rarely returning phone calls. The dating pool has become a plethora of flakes who relish playing mind games.
I for one, never fancied old fashioned dating. If I had to choose it would be the only way to go. At least from a few phone calls you can read the person’s energy, personality and basic character. Viewing them on a physical date only cinches the deal or makes you run shrieking. Either way you are able to make a quick decision based on the person’s aura, body language, and the things they may say.
I once joined a dating site many years ago called Ebony & Ivory. It was at the bidding of my friends since they could not bear to see me forlorn after my break-up with my first beau. Some of the characters I vetted were straight out of Facebook memes that emphasized “When he says he has a job, house with a pool and a car, the reality is the house is a Barbie house made by Mattel, sitting next to a puddle of water and a rickshaw.”
The whole thing became so tiresome that I began to lose faith. Then E & I sent me a profile of a person named Robert Pugliesi who was a principal of a Wall Street firm. At the time they did not send a photo, so I had to use my imagination. We spoke on the phone a few times because I will not meet anyone until I am sure they are not a serial killer.
During the phone conversation I discovered he worked at a brokerage firm that was only a few blocks away from my office. He also stated that he looked like Jim Morrison from the Doors. Ever since I can remember I was a fan of men with long hair. (at least shoulder length)
I think it stemmed from my affinity for Tarzan and Mogli from Jungle Book when I was a child. Any roads, I was psyched to meet him because he seemed to have his act together. He was quite a bit older but young at heart. I even made sure to ask if he was married. His answer was an emphatic no.
I insisted on traveling to the date by myself but he much preferred to send me a chauffeured car. I asked around the industry if anyone knew him and most gave him rave reviews. Based on that information, I accepted since he remarked that the restaurant was exclusive. I believe the name was “One if by Land, Two If by Sea.”
When I arrived, I was made aware that he had reserved the entire restaurant for our date. The evening went well since he appeared to be enamored by me. I on the other hand was quite shocked because in a strange way he did look like Jim Morrison except a geriatric one. This guy was well into his sixties, and I was barely in my twenties.
Then as he began talking, he slipped and mentioned something about a wife. Then he tried to make a save by saying his ex-wife. That was my cue and scratched record moment to make my exit. I thanked him for the evening and motioned to depart. He insisted on taking me home, but I did not want to risk divulging my address because it was my experience that once a date knew my address, and I was not keen on him, there was nothing but mega drama to follow.
I instinctively knew there was no point to pursuing this “friendship”. He was already spoken for. Whatever arrangement he would conjure up in his mind was already unsuitable for me. I was never a fan of booty calls or drive by dating.
For me, drive by dating is when a woman chooses to entertain a guy who was just driving by and decided to stop in unannounced. He might be a close friend or someone she hooked up with a few times. I also never engaged in “hook-ups”. Either we are dating exclusively, or we have nothing going on.
I am the sort that even if we are dating for 40 years, I still expect a suitor to make a formal date with me. Do not just show up at my doorstep. If you do, you will most certainly get your feelings hurt. It has nothing to do with the fact I am harboring another date.
It has everything to do with respect and honor for myself. I never allowed any date or boyfriend to just appear at my door as he had a whim. At least, call first to make sure I am available and in the mood for company.
One thing I have noticed about the dating world today is that it is somehow tied to the medical community. The levels of debauchery and disrespect that are being rolled out are being caused by lascivious persons in medicine who get thrills from clandestine relationships. Therefore, you have to ask the question, “Who in your family is dependent on medical care more than usual?” Once you ask that question you will find that some of your misadventures in dating links back to allopathic medicine.
Your dating life and sexual activity becomes the currency by which family members with chronic ailments pay some of their debts. Therefore, if you are having several dating misadventures after the other, and you have done soul searching and nothing adds up, look to medicine because there is where your answer lies. The debts I was paying at the time was for my Aunt Lucille and biological mother.
Fighting For My Life Memoir 